


'Not Peter' - Wrong Number, kiddo.

by KaiRomanoff



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Author Can't Tag, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Avengers Family, Awesome Clint Barton, Awesome Steve Rogers, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Child Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, MJ might show up, Nat is such a mom, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Ned might show up, Original Character texted Nat by accident, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Original Female Character, Parent Natasha Romanov, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Natasha Romanov, Teen Peter Parker, Teen Wanda Maximoff, That classic wrong number fic, The Avengers Are Good Bros, The Avengers Need a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, Wrong number
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiRomanoff/pseuds/KaiRomanoff
Summary: 15-year-old Alianova Stuart just wanted the answers to her Science Homework from her best friend, Peter Parker.Instead, she accidentally texted one of the world's most deadly ex-assassins and found something of an online friend.What happens when Alianova meets the one and only Natasha Romanoff?(I'm so bad at summaries don't shoot me...the story is actually pretty good).Basically featuring: Momma Bear Nat, emotionally damaged and hyperactive Alianova, Wanda being a meme, Avengers as a family. The classic 'Wrong number, Kid.' fic.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Original Female Character(s), Natasha Romanov & Avengers Team, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Original Female Character(s), Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov & Original Character(s)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 86





	1. I'm not 'Peter'.

**CHAT OPENED: 2:43am  
  
**

**Alianova:**

Oi YEETER PETER. send me your answers to the science homework i forgot to do it and harrington will maim me if i miss one more deadline.

**???**

How did you get this number? Who are you?

**Alianova:**

PETER THIS ISN’T FUNNY I NEED YOUR HOMEWORK ANSWERS  
do you want Harrington to murder me?????  
DOES MY LIFE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU

**???**

This isn’t ‘Peter’.

Who are you?

**Alianova:**

Ok ‘Not-Peter’

Dude cmon. Peter I’m serious I’ll buy you another Iron Man figurine if you PLEASE just give me these answers.

**???**

Kid.

I’m not Peter.

And…why Iron Man? He’s a d*ck.

**Alianova:**

GASP

LANGUAGE

ok u def aren’t Peter

and idk ask yeeter he's like in love with the guy

he has this internship with Iron Man and basically worships him

**???**

Jesus kid, sorry for the profanity.

Yes. I’m ‘def’ not Peter.

Who are you.

**Alianova:**

why should i tell u  
  
are you a pEdO

how old are you? 

**???**

I need to know if you're a spy or agent trying to infiltrate and contact me on my personal phone.And if you are then I’ll have to come…deal with you. Eliminate the threat.

:)

So….what’s your name.

And no kid I’m not a pedo.

**Alianova:**

SAID EVERY PEDO EVER

**???**

I’M NOT A PEDO KID, GOD

**Alianova:**

ok ok i believe you

you think im a spy or agent i-

what kinda shit have you done?

omg are YOU a spy

**???**

Something like that.

So….are YOU a spy? ;)

Tbf kid you're not particularly threatening so I won’t have to come and eliminate you. :)

**Alianova:**

thank you??

**???**

ur welcome??

**Alianova:**

ok fine my name is Alia.

it’s short for Alianova

**???**

….

are you russian?

**Alianova:**

none of your beeswax

so what's your name

**???**

I need to know.

Are you from Russia?

**Alianova:**

Jeez creep ok ok i’m technically russian.

im the classic sad russian orphan who was shipped to america

I’m in the foster system YEET.

live with a shit family who hate my guts :)

**???**

Oh shit kid I’m so sorry.

Now that I’m certain your not a threat.

You can call me…

Red

**Alianova:**

wtf is that name

dude you could be a 64 year old insurance clerk called darren

pEdO

**???**

JESUS CHRIST KID I’M NOT A PEDO.

I can’t say my real name for security reasons.

Also I’m not calling you Alia, I need a nickname.

From what I’ve gathered about you…you’re either a redhead, caffeine addict or have ADHD.

**Alianova:**

wtf

u are a spy

can confirm i’m ginger, with combined type ADHD and an unhealthy addiction to espressos.

how do u know i’m not a threat

i could ALSO be a spy and just be bluffing

**???**

Something like that.

And kid, if you were anything like the people who are threats, I doubt they would’ve taken this route to get to me.

Anyways, its 3am…why are you awake kiddo?

**Alianova:**

doing my homework that’s due in like…

6 hours

16 pages long

also....how do you know i'm a kid? i'm actually 43.

**???**

um....kid you called me a pedo.

if i remember correctly a pedo is a predator of children.....

that's a lot of homework

that sounds shit too.

**Alianova:**

oh yeh.

damn. i'm not a very good spy am i?

why are YOU awake, secret agent?

thats ur name now btw

**Secret Agent**

Cringe much.

And no kid, ur really not.

I don’t sleep much. Things keep me up.

Like random, probably lonely, ginger, hyperactive, disorganised teenagers texting me thinking I’m their nerdy friend…

:)

**Alianova:**

DAMN.

Accurate tho.

yeah i don’t sleep much either.

Nightmares n shit

**Secret Agent**

Aw kid I’m so sorry.

Have you talked to anyone about them?

It can really help, trust me.

**Alianova:**

nah and no one really cares

And they can be fucked up dreams too

of stuff from previous foster homes and when i was in russia

**Secret Agent**

i’m sure someone does care.

what about Peter Yeeter?

**Alianova:**

he’s so innocent…i’d hate to like take that away from him yknow?

anyway it doesn’t matter

im managing it

**Secret Agent**

yeah i get it kid.

now, please get some sleep.

**Alianova:**

Ok :)

night secret agent x

**Secret Agent**

night kidx


	2. 'DON’T TELL HER I GAVE THAT AWAY'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love on the first chapter! Drop a comment with prompts!

**THIRD PERSON NAT POV:**

Natasha switched off her phone, and placed it by her bedside table, where the alarm clock was flashing mockingly at her. She sat for a while, thinking about the encounter she’d just had with this online stranger. She had been skeptical at first, it wouldn’t have been the first time someone had targeted her through her personal phone, but it didn’t take long for the spy to deduce that this really was just a harmless kid.

Of course, the kid was Russian.

She empathized with that, as soon as she’d established the girl wasn’t from the Red Room. Soviet childhoods were….traumatic. And the foster system too, that sucked in the US, albeit it was better than Russian orphanages. 

Natasha silently thanked the god she didn’t believe in that this kid didn’t end up in the Red Room.

She then mulled over something that Alianova had mentioned. Peter. Peter Parker.

An Iron-man-loving, science nerd Peter Parker with a teacher called Harrington. It didn’t take a genius to know who that was. Natasha smirked. It’s a small world after all. Tony’s kid, Peter, who sometimes came for an ‘internship’, which was really just an excuse for Tony to keep an eye on Peter’s spiderboy habits. Natasha also knew that Wanda had a huge crush on the little mini Tony; she thought it was adorable, and kept trying to embarrass Wanda in front of Peter, which usually ended up in the Little Witch turning as red as her powers.

A small knock at the door caused Natasha to jump from her thoughts. She sat up in bed. 

‘Come in.’

Light cracked in to the room, flooding the floor, as the door opened, revealing Wanda standing there in her pajamas. 

‘Oh, hey kid.’ Natasha said, blinking as her eyes adapted to the light. ‘Can’t sleep?’

Wanda silently shook her head and went and sat on the edge of Natasha’s bed. It wasn’t uncommon for Wanda to come into Natasha’s room when she couldn’t sleep.

‘Me neither.’ Natasha admitted, patting the space next to her, which Wanda crawled up to fill. Natasha put her arm around Wanda, letting her rest her head on her shoulder. ‘I just had this random kid text me, wrong number. But it’s kinda funny. The kid knows Peter.’ Natasha smirked, even in the dark she could see Wanda blush.

Natasha had become something of an older sister to Wanda, she'd be there during the night when Wanda would have nightmares, she’d be there to train her, make sure she was taking care of herself. Wanda would be there too, for every nightmare or flashback Natasha had, afterward Wanda would find her way in to Nat’s arms, knowing that having someone to hug helped ground Natasha.

‘Let’s see!’ Wanda said smiling. She scrolled through the conversation, frowning in certain areas. ‘Poor kid though. The foster system is terrible, and to have a family that hates you too. I hope she is ok.’ Wanda put the number in to her own phone, wanting to text the kid herself. ‘Awe but Nat, you’re pretty soft with her it’s cute.’

That earned Wanda a pillow to the face. ‘Shut up you. Phone off, let’s try get some sleep. You can stay here.’

Wanda nodded, and lay down on the pillow, feeling herself drift off in the safety of Natasha’s room.

* * *

_THE NEXT MORNING:_

**9:39am**

**Alianova:**

hello secret agent

guess who got detention lollll

Didn’t do my hw :(

**Secret Agent:**

hey kiddo.

oh no :((

was it too hard orrrr

**Alianova:**

nahh not really just cba

wasn’t expecting you to reply ngl

**Secret Agent:**

why not?

**Alianova:**

bc your a busy stranger who probably has better things to do

like secret agent work

**Secret Agent:**

nah not really

Sometimes there’s loads of work, but atm there isn’t much.

i’ve always got time to chat if you need it.

**Alianova:**

Hbhqedbqhjbdjbdqdbq

ty :,)

Seriously ty no one has ever done that before

**Secret Agent:**

of course kiddo.

you should get back to class

Go learn.

**Alianova:**

ok :D

bye x

**Secret Agent:**

bye Little Red x

**Alianova:**

OOO I LIKE THAT NICKNAME

ginger vibes tho

**Secret Agent:**

yes hence the name little red

now go on

go learn my child

**Alianova:**

OK BYEEEE

**Secret Agent:**

:) xx

* * *

**THIRD PERSON ALIANOVA POV:**

Alianova slipped her phone back in to her bag and tried to concentrate on what the hell was going on in class. Her mind was buzzing and eye focus all over the place, but she was smiling after her encounter with her Secret Agent friend. It did feel strange, to be talking to a complete stranger, but it some ways it was comforting. Secret Agent seemed to…care about her. That was a first.

She doodled for a bit on her book before at last, the bell rang for the next period, and she met up with MJ in the halls to go to their next lesson together. 

Man, she hated school.

It was so … overrated.

And boring.

MJ was talking to her about something random, filling the silence as Alianova’s attention span drifted far away. She decided to stop at the bathroom before class, so she went in to a stall and pulled out her phone, only to find a message from an unknown number.

**???**

Hello.

I’m a friend of ‘Secret Agent’

**Alianova:**

well, thats quite ominous.

not to pull a secret agent on you but you could be 68-year-old mechanic called brian…

pedo-ish if you ask me

**???**

You're actually quite funny, secret agent said you were

Strangely similar to her actually

OH SHIT UM-

**Alianova:**

so secret agent is a girl huh? ;)

well its safe to say you aren't the greatest spy compared to her are you?

this is hilarious ahahahaha

**???**

DON’T TELL HER I GAVE THAT AWAY 

nat will KILL me.

FUCK HOW DO YOU UNSEND MESSAGES.

**Alianova:**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

so Secret Agent’s name is Nat ;)

and you cant 

**???**

please don’t tell her.

she will MAIM me

or take away my supply of fruit winders :(

**Alianova:**

well we can’t have that

ok i won’t tell her

seeing as we are name sharing, i’m Alianova. Whats yours?

**???**

eh you can call me Wanda.

If Nat hasn’t already hunted you down then I deem you safe.

**Alianova:**

Nat sounds kinda scary ngl

She didn’t seem like a borderline assassin when i texted her rip

**Wanda**

she’s not a BORDERLINE assassin

im just messing with you

Nat’s really nice if your on her good side/she likes you

and thats rare too, nat doesn’t trust easily either.

**Alianova:**

IM HONOURED

HHDJDABJCDBJABJ

yeah i get that, not to sound sappy but anytime i get attached to anyone they leave so.

**Wanda**

yeah nat told me about your situ

It must be so difficult I'm sorry. 

Both Nat and I relate so you can always talk to us :)

**Alianova:**

thank you Wanda :,)

**Wanda**

anyways, aren’t you meant to be in school?

i’ve got a lesson right now and it’s boring AF

**Alianova:**

wait your in school??

how old r u? i’m 15

ok i know i sound like the pedo now but still.

**Wanda**

I do online school…it’s complicated

nah its ok

i’m 17

**Alianova:**

Oooo so how olds nat then

wait she isn’t ur mom is she

**Wanda**

i’m not telling she’ll kill me!!  
and no she’s not ahahaha

she’s kind of like my big sister :)

**Alianova:**

awe thats so soft.

and damn.

well.

i should get back to class, my teacher already hates me enough bc i don’t pay attention

**Wanda**

go learn!! i need to go back to class to 

Bye Alia x

**Alianova:**

Baiiii wandyyyyyyyy


	3. 'Shut up Tashie!'

**Wanda added Alianova and Tasha to a chat.**

**Wanda:**

HEY GUYS

i made a group chat

**Tasha:**

Wanda do u even know what privacy means?

**Alianova:**

HEY WANDY HEY NAT

OH SHIT-

**Wanda:**

ALIA!!!!! I TOLD U-

ehehe ok nat so DON’T KILL ME-

**Tasha:**

WANDA 

GET UR ASS IN MY ROOM NOW

**Alianova:**

oh shit

sorry Wandy

nat don’t kill Wandyyyy

**Wanda:**

YEAH TASHA LISTEN TO ALIA

oh shit.

uhm.

**Tasha:**

JESUS CHRIST WANDA UR SO BAD AT PRIVACY.

ok now it’s out in the open

my names Natasha

WANDA GET UR ASS IN MY ROOM.

**Wanda:**

Coming Tashie <3 :D

**Alianova:**

Awe u guys r cute.

i always wanted a sister 

or just wanted anyone to look out for me rip

**Tasha:**

oh kid.

**Wanda:**

i’ll look out for you alia :D xx

Tasha plz don’t kill me

**Tasha:**

i won’t wands we just need to have a chat about privacy mkay.

and yeah kid, we’ll look out for you xx

**Alianova:**

AW THANK YOU GUYS <3

**Wanda:**

Fr alianova ur name is so pretty

**Tasha:**

yeah it’s similar to my middle name

Wanda’s too

**Alianova:**

yeah it’s spelt weirdly i think its because my dumb ass biological parents missed out the n 

the common spelling is Alianovna 

**Wanda:**

Yeee my middle name is Aliona 

Tashies is Alianovna :)

**Tasha:**

at this point we might as well tell her everything. 

Wanda fr i just talked to you about this ugh

**Alianova:**

awe matching names

wandy you really aren't good at privacy

**Wanda:**

yeah ik

its a bit of an issue

**Tasha:**

uhm shouldn’t both of you be doing schoolwork?

**Alianova:**

Uhm…..

well….

yeah probably 

**Wanda:**

nah i’m doing something else for work

**Alianova:**

uhm natttttttt shouldn’t you be doing ur job or something

what do you even do for a living

other than secret agenting ;)

**Tasha:**

i work at SI :)

**Alianova:**

STARK INDUSTRIES??!!!  
WITH THE AVENGERS?!!?

**Wanda:**

Yes we both do :)

**Alianova:**

YOU KNOW THE AVENGERS?!!!!!!!!!!

HSBASBHAHAHJFPOQIWPO

**Tasha:**

yes we do know them 

**Alianova:**

what do you work as?

which departments?

**Wanda:**

I’m an intern in the same Department Tasha works in

**Tasha:**

I work in uhhhh

External Affairs

yeah something like that

**Alianova:**

well thats dope

hey Wanda you’ll prob know Peter!! He's an intern too

**Tasha:**

oh she knows peter alright ;)

**Wanda**

SHUT UP TASHIE

DON’T EVEN

**Tasha:**

AHAHAHAHAHAH awh wanda

so which are your fav avengers?

**Wanda:**

ooo yeah

i like scarlet witch is the best

She's such a badass

**Alianova:**

well peter loves iron man

i like

hmmm

scarlet witch is probably my favourite 

**Tasha:**

what about black widow??

she’s way cooler than scarlet witch.

first female avenger hELLOO

**Wanda:**

NO I AGREE WITH ALIA

SCARLET WITCH IS A BOSS

yes alia you are correct

**Alianova:**

Black widow scares me a bit ngl

correction she scares me a lot

but she is russian so i have respect.

**Wanda:**

yeah she is scary 

she can be really nice too though, she’s secretly a softie.

**Tasha:**

uHM i’m sure that SHE wouldn’t like you going round telling her secrets.

oh wait

it’s the only thing ur good at

**Alianova:**

BURNNNNNNNNNN

NAT UR SAVAGE

**Wanda:**

Tasha you've made me sad now

**Alianova:**

nat you made wandy sad :(

**Wanda:**

Dw alia she’s hugging me now :)

**Natasha and Wanda 3rd Person POV**

Natasha had her arms wrapped around Wanda, who was laughing at the conversation going down with Alianova. Both of them loved pretending to not be the people Alianova looked up to, and Natasha thought it was funny that Wanda kept self promoting herself.

“Well your modest aren't you?!” Natasha laughed.

“In MY defence, Alianova did say I was her favourite, and it didn’t seem to do with my persuasive skills.” Wanda said. “I love how clueless she is.”

“Yeah it’s really cute.” Natasha said, smiling fondly. “I like Little Red a lot.”

“Already got a nickname, damn Tasha, the kid is making you soft.” Wanda said.

“Firstly, Alianova reminds me of Russia too much, and secondly, you, my little witch, made me soft in the first place.”

“Awe see I know you love me.”

“How could I not? Tiny, weedy, sad 15 year old Wanda needed a big sister.”

“And a big sister I got.” Wanda smiled, leaning in to Natasha again. “But Tasha, PLEASE stop telling everyone I like Peter!!”  


“I can’t promise anything. It’s funny when your flustered.”

Wanda scrolled up the conversation again, laughing at the randomness of it. “External Affairs ahaha that's one way to put it.” her face went sombre. “I feel bad for her though, she seems to have it really rough.”

“Yeah, poor kid. We’ll help her though, Wands. But I need you to remember to stay careful. Loads of bad people can use this is a method of infiltration. For all we know Alianova could be one of those people.” Natasha said seriously. “But I’ve been in the business a while, and all I see this person as is a scared, lonely kid who texted the wrong number, but maybe fate made it happen after all.” 

“Yeah, me too Tasha. Me too.”

**Group chat:**

**Alianova:**

damn that's soft

so do you guys live together or something

**Tasha:**

yes, Wanda lives with me. we share a house with a couple others too.

**Wanda:**

it’s like having one big family

peter stays with us too sometimes!!

Bc he’s one of my close friends 

**Tasha:**

well that’s one way of putting it

**Wanda:**

TASHA

**Alianova:**

A…special friend ;))))

**Tasha:**

EXACTLY LITTLE RED

**Wanda:**

stop bullyinggggg :(

Lia I though you were on my side

Oooo lia i like Lia

**Alianova:**

ME TOO OMG

YES

YES

YES

**Wanda:**

IMA CALL U DAT NOW

**Wanda changed username ‘Alianova’ to ‘Lia’**

**Tasha:**

so what you up to today little red?

**Lia:**

i was gonna watch some films

shit ive got to go

sorry guys chat later


End file.
